What is the best thing that I love about my work? As a child I was always fascinated with creating lavish stories and entertaining others. I have also been very friendly and supportive of others. My mother has even stated I wear my heart on my sleeve which is why it is always so easily broken. And it’s true. When I discovered I wanted to do film at a very early age, I knew this was ideal. I get to spend everyday meeting new people, traveling and being able to help other “dreamers” get into something they love, while bringing ideas to life. I can honestly say, despite my past hardships, nothing makes me happier than when I do this on any scale.
What is my idea of perfect happiness? Happiness is such a funny concept to me. My ideas of happiness, ESPECIALLY in entertainment are vastly different from others. While I do exist in a field predominantly ran by egos, materialism, competition, money and image, if you really want to know what makes me happy -roadtrips with someone important, and great music. I was recently speaking with friends about this, and my ideal Heaven lies in a road trip with someone or close friends, and just listening to music. No particular time frame to be in. No deadline to reach. Visiting old truckstops off long forgotten highways, ones with waitresses named Suzanne, or Florence. Visiting antique stores and buying useless novelties from random places as keepsakes for when times aren’t so great. I think happiness lies in moments, memories and little gifts. I think with cellphones and cameras being so readily available, we have taken for granted the prestige of the photograph and overlook a beautiful moment in time. The perfect moments pass quickly. Stop. Observe everything about the, from a quick joke, a brilliant snarky comeback, a silly gift, a smile from across a random place- even the seat next to you, and the perfect song at the perfect time to provide the melody to perfect moment- that is happiness.
What is my greatest fear? My greatest fear, for as happy-go-lucky I am, I am a walking contradiction of fears. Having had a missing child for a year, that shook me to the bone and now, normal things people fear, do not bother me. When she was gone, I lost everything from my studio, film rights, friends, in some ways-family. I had nothing. Now, I have nothing to lose. What scares me now are little things. Being alone, dying alone, and- wow, this is personal, but, not being good enough. Yeah. I fear I am too old at times, not attractive enough to want at times, not athletic enough, too short (which I’m not THAT short – 5’9). Its those little insecure fears that haunt me.
What is the trait that I most deplore in myself? What I am absolutely loathed for is my inability to say no. From family, to friends and Co-workers, they say I take on too much. Which does tire me out and stay stressed and beaten, only to get up the next day and do it all again. Especially in this last year, I can honestly say I have aged four! Another example would be I underwent surgery and my crew got with my mom to make sure I would not show up to set, as they knew I would. I long to help EVERY studio I come across and willing to help in any way, just because I am in love with my work!!
Which living persons in my profession do i most admire? My studio and friends would jest and say, Rhonda burnette…..haha (but, really they would). While she is amazing and a joy to be around, I admire two different types of people and filmmakers. Kevin Smith is a hero of mine and his story. I think he is the wouldbe cornerstone of one type. The underdog that never stopped trying and gives their all to tell THEIR story in their own light. Which is why I work with so many indie studios! Just to be part of the magic. On much larger scale I would have to Joss Whedon, Robert Rodriguez, and Kathryn Bigelow. They are all very unique and so very professional in their craft. I long to be a happy medium.
What is my greatest extravagance? Okay, busted. I am a total nerd. I love action figures! GI Joes and Marvel Universe primarily. I have a whole shelf of them. Though sadly, during my daughter’s disappearance in 2010, I had sold a great deal of my collection to pay for for attorneys. I believe in my heart I will be able to build back my collection one day. (I don’t know if I will have the time to set them up though! Hahaha!)
On what occasion would I lie? I am a writer. I am producer. As a writer, I lie constantly to bring my thoughts, feelings and insecurities to life. I lie to perhaps put a happy ending on something hopeful. I also lie, when someone picks out traits of myself, or plot that hits close to how I feel. “Nah, it’s just part of the story! Nothing to do with me.” I guess maybe in some cases, something’s can be known, but doesn’t have to be said. As a producer, I am pretty straightforward. Why? Because, on behalf of both myself and who I am entertaining, none of us have time for BS.